Jeans. T-shirts. The occasional long-sleeved something or other. Sweaters bought for me by in-laws. Khakis. Plaid button-down shirts. Flannel. Pjs. Tank tops for bumming around the apartment. Sneakers. Combat boots. White socks with pink stripes across the toes. My wedding dress. Old gym shorts.

Needless to say, my wardrobe is less than ideal for business attire. I&#039ve been thinking quite a bit since receiving my student loan checks, and I&#039m thinking that I really need to invest in some new clothes, possibly even clothes that fit (rather than being too big). The problem with this plan? I have absolutely and utterly no clue as to what I&#039m supposed to wear let alone what looks good on me or what matches. I prefer clothes to be comfortable. If they aren&#039t comfy, I won&#039t wear them. I&#039d rather run around in a sheet before wearing some uncomfortable cutsie dress suit. I&#039d rather be barefoot than wear heels (which wreak havoc on my knees and back). Then again, I&#039d always rather be barefoot, so I suppose that&#039s not the greatest of examples.

Regardless, the deeper underlying issue is that I don&#039t know what I want to look like. Despite the fact that I don&#039t understand why people choose to pay attention to fashion and style, I do understand the fact that the clothes you wear label you and categorize you based on lots of factors such as color, size, cut, fabric, patterns, accessories, etc. Were I to wear the cutsie dress suits, I think I&#039d look like a freak, but others would see me as some sort of business type. If I wore long skirts and blouses, I&#039d be a school marm, moreso if I wear my hair in a bun. The latter category, however, depends upon the fabric and patterns on the skirts and blouses. Solid colors and wool are more school marmy, but flowers and paisley would make me a hippy.

See my delimma? I don&#039t know who I want to look like! Half the time I don&#039t even know who I am! I don&#039t want to look like a business woman. I don&#039t want to look like a hippy or school marm. I don&#039t want to look like some prep who just fell off the turnip truck. I don&#039t want to look like a mismatched nutbag who couldn&#039t tell the difference between blue and polyester. The entire fashion industry has me at a loss because while I know I am an intelligent person, I feel like I&#039ve been hit over the head repeatedly with a stupid stick. If only my brother Tommy were up here in Terre Haute, all these problems would simply go away… He&#039s got a good eye for fashion, a hundred times better than I ever will. Maybe he&#039s got an emergency hotline number just for fashion failures…

Posted: February 1, 2005 at three in the afternoon.