I’ve been going to bed pretty late lately. Three or four in the morning is not unusual since I’ve always been a night owl and would rather stay up late and get up late than go to bed early and get up early. So I went to bed today at 4 am which means I got to sleep closer to 4:30 because as a chronic insomniac, it takes quite a while to conk out even when I’m really tired. Around 6, I woke up with horrible pains all over my abdomen. Mind you, my period started yesterday and I have been having horrible cramps ever since it started (by the way, I hate being female a lot of the time), but these were even worse. I lay there for quite some time trying to decide what to do. Finally I got up, and by the time I reached the living room, I had to lie down again, which I did right on the floor. As I lay there, I was–in my groggy half-awake and tormented-by-pain state–convinced that there was some sort of bizarre time-space continuum issue going on in my small and large intestines. I reasoned (as much as one can after an hour and a half of sleep) that they were shifting into each other’s geometry and that they were also shifting in and out of this plane all while swirling around and trying to take the rest of my organs with them like spiraling around a black hole. To say the least, I was disoriented and more than a little doubled over if you take my bizarre concepts of non-Euclidean geometry into account.

After a while, I gave up on the floor and wandered to the bathroom because as I became more awake (and more cogent), I realized that maybe I had an upset stomach. Rocket science, I know. Not sure as to which way my bowels wanted to move, I just stood there in the glaring light and stared at the toilet trying to get it to make up my intestines’ mind for me. I didn’t have to wait too long. I threw up what little was left of my midnight snack and then whatever gastric juices were left after that. Some dry heaving later and I was all out. I rinsed my mouth out with water for a while. I gargled with water. I gargled with mouthwash. I rinsed my mouth out with water again. I blew my nose twice. Still, the nasty taste remained in the soft palatte of my mouth in a place I clearly could not reach. I chewed a couple piece of Trident and that seemed to at least mask it a little. Then around 6:45, I fell asleep on the futon.

I woke up at eight because that’s when Ian’s alarms started going off. He let one of them simply ring for a while, which my pounding head couldn’t take so I slothily trod into the bedroom to hit the snooze button for him. Then I wearily sludged back into the living room to fall on the futon again. He left for work and I fell asleep again about fifteen minutes later just after nine. There I remained until about a half an hour ago around 11:30. I chewed some more gum because the taste is still there but I don’t think it’ll really help. I feel like someone has been beating me with a ten-pound bag of russet potatoes, making sure to get all my joints and especially my head. I still have cramps, but I think they’re the regular being-female-sucks-ass kind of cramps. Looks like my day of playing with Legos and WoW and cleaning up the bedroom might have to wait. I’m tired. I wonder if I’m still throw-up sick or if I’m just suffering the aftermath. One way or the other, today’s bleh.