How many of you readers (the three or four of you) know how much I dislike the month of March? I mean, sure, there are some good things about it like my brother's birthday, the husband's birthday, my father-in-law's birthay, and Grandma Ringwald's birthday, but beyond that, this month has been nothing but trouble since high school.
March is the month when my hormones spike and plummet like mad making my period about two or three weeks off so that for years the pregnancy scare rears its ugly head.
March is when my Grandma Nolan died and when emotionally I shut down thereafter for years, unable to connect with anything other than self-loathing and depression.
March is allergy season for me every spring, but I can't take medication stronger than Benadryl without it making my hormones get even wackier than usual. Have you ever seen me manic? Not good. Ever seen me depressed? A hundred times more not good. Have you ever seen me do both about ten times each in one day? That's what prescription allergy medicine does to me. Not good. I didn't go through a year and a half of therapy to become completely unhinged and unstable again. So I take Benadryl and suffer through the rest of the allergies I have because of Terre Haute.
March may be when spring starts officially, and yes, the weather is nice outside because I like warmth, but spring is just a little too happy/hyper for my generally sedate existence. The change in weather just adds to the achy joints and sinus trouble I already suffer from. The change in weather and additional sunlight also screw up my SAD about a dozen times worse so that even without the allergy medicine, I get manic at the drop of a hat only to freak out and get pissed off at myself until I'm good and depressed all over again. Damned viscious cycle.
Oddly enough, as though this list didn't seem long enough as it is, there are other, worse reasons for hating March. They're just too personal, too deeply buried for me to ever want to bring them up in a blog. I don't even like bringing back the memories, but every March brings them back just like the daffodils return. Too bad my memories aren't pretty like flowers. Too bad they make me hate March for not letting me forget. I hate March.
Posted: March 18, 2005 at 3:25 pm.
Sorry about March:
I went here to get your email address because I always spell it wrong. Then I saw this posting. Hopfully the email I'll send you will make this March slightly more fun for a couple of minutes.
We need to make you some new March memories:
Looking forward to seeing you on Thurdsay!