I don’t cook much. Actually, aside from heating things up in the oven or microwave, I rarely cook at all, much to the husband’s dismay. There are, however, several dishes that I and I alone fix when the mood strikes such as spaetzle and lasagne and tartines. Anymore, I’ll get a craving for sauerkraut or German fries and that, of course, means bratwursts boiled in beer. That’s what was on tonight’s menu: brats, German fries, and sauerkraut. The husband was busy playing WoW, so I took to the kitchen myself. It’s seeing me in the kitchen and how I cook that’s somewhat unconventional.

I’d make a weird-looking housewife, that’s for sure. Currently, I’m wearing a bright orange shirt with glo-in-the-dark letters proclaiming “Night of the Vampire: DRACULA!” with pictures of Bela Lugosi on it. Then there’s the light blue skirt that’s shin-length that has peacocks and elephants on it. On my feet: bright green Care Bear flip-flops with big plastic four-leaf clovers on the straps. Yeah, I look funny. On top of that when I was in the kitchen was a long black apron whose ties kept tempting the hyper kitty. Mind you, my choice in fashion aside (or lack of fashion sense, rather), it’s the accessories that add to the freak-in-the-kitchen image that one would see should they come by while I’m fixing German fries: a painter’s face mask and chemistry class goggles. Yup, my crazy outfit plus protective facewear all while weilding knives as I attack shallots (I HATE onions so much I refuse to so much as use them in my German fries; the shallots are close and somewhat less annoying), bell peppers, and potatoes. One of these days, the husband is going to take a picture of me in this ridiculous state of dress and post it on his page. Still, the food was good even if the person making it looked like she should have been in a B-rate horror movie, or maybe one of those 80s movies with all the geeks who just don’t know any better about looking like an idiot all the time. For now though, back to my novels and away from the kitchen. The shallot stink has yet to fade away. I’m glad I didn’t use onions; the whole house would reek for hours.