I like running around barefoot. I don’t wear shoes or socks around the house, and whenever I’m just going outside for a little while or just going outside to sit on the porch and crochet while the cat’s running around the yard, I simply wear flip-flops or sandals. The major problem with this, of course, is that outside is where the mosquitos are, and I attract mosquitos faster than a Playboy model attracts pervs. (Not quite sure where that analogy came from, but I suppose it’s apt.) Even more annoying than the fact that my blood appears to be Dom Pérignon to the little bloodsuckers is that the precautions I’ve been taking to prevent being bitten aren’t working. There are two giant Citronella candles on the porch on either side of my lawn chair, and I spray my feet and pant cuffs all over with Off! before even sitting down to craft. I spray my elbows too, but I don’t want to spray too close to my hands because I don’t want the projects I’m working on to smell like bug spray. Still, with all the precautions I take to at least keep my feet from becoming pin cushions, you’d think they’d be bite free. Nope. My ankles are encircled with red welts, I even got one on my knee somehow, and there’s a damned hole in the bottom of my foot that itches everytime I walk anywhere. With as much Off! as I’ve been using and subsequently absorbing, you’d think I’d be just about immune, but my blood must be some pretty potent stuff. Damned blood.

There’s at least one small thing that makes it just a little more tolerable. I have this anti-itch stick called BiteMD which works wonders when used on my arms. I apply it to the bite, apply it again about fifteen minutes later and the bite shrinks and ceases to be as much of an annoyance, almost like the bite’s just not there anymore. On my feet and ankles, however, it’s less effective. Not really sure why, but it only stops the itching for a little while before I need to reapply. If only there were something I could eat or drink or wear or dip myself in from head to toe to stop these ravenous mosquitos from ever even coming close to me. I hate mosquitos. I know that most insects out there have a purpose in the grand scheme of the ecosystem, but I seriously doubt mosquitos serve any purpose beyond being annoying, spreading disease, and pissing me off. All the mosquitos in the world could die off and the world would simply be a better place. I hate mosquitos. I guess I hate my blood too for being so damned tasty. Curses!