The boy, upon leaving the classroom and closing the door behind him, began the long walk to the principal’s office. He had no idea what had upset the teacher so much. After all, he had done his homework: she had said to go home and learn a new word, and he did, and now he was being sent to see the principal for it. His head hanging, he almost didn’t see the janitor with his broom standing next to a pile of litter discared from a hundred lockers and backpacks. He looked up as the janitor asked, “What’re you doing out of class? Got a hall pass?”

The boy shook his head, and thinking that maybe the janitor would lend a sympathetic ear, he said, “No, no hall pass. My teacher didn’t give me one; she just told me to go to the principal’s office.” The janitor shifted his weight on the broom and asked, “What did you do to get sent to the office?” The boy replied, “Well, the teacher gave us an assignment yesterday to go home and learn a new word. I went home and looked up a new word in the dictionary, learned it, and when I told it to her in class just now, she told me to go to the principal’s office.” The janitor looked at the boy a minute and then asked, “What was the word then?” “Pumpernickel,” said the boy. Upon hearing the word, the janitor knocked the boy over with his broom, shouting, “Go on! You hurry up and get to the office!” Scrambling to his feet, the boy rushed down the hallway away from the angry janitor and his broom.

Confused, the boy reached the principal’s office, opening the door and going in to sit in the chair across from the secretary, waiting for her to acknowledge him and tell him when we could go into the principal’s office to see him. The secretary was typing something up–probably a letter or memo–on a typewriter. That really dates this story, doesn’t it? Yes, it was an actual typewriter, one of those heavy beasts with messy ribbons and loud keys. At any rate, she was typing away with perfectly manicured red fingernails, not paying any attention to the boy who was still trying to wrap his mind around what was happening to him. With a final and loud ding of a carriage return, the secretary looked up at the boy.

“Why are you here?” she asked finally, not really recognizing the boy since he wasn’t one of the regulars there. The boy, starting to calm down from his ordeal with the janitor in the hallyway, found his voice and explained, “Well, my teacher gave us all a homework assignment to go home and learn a new word, and I did. When I told it to her this morning, though, she told me to come here to the principal’s office.” The secretary, bored already, asked, “What was the word?” “Pumpernickel,” said the boy. As soon as she heard the word, the secretary picked up the typewriter (remember, those old things are heavy) and clonked the boy over the head with it. In a high, shrill voice, she exclaimed, “Get in there now! Go on!” Scrambling out of the seat with stars in his eyes, the boy leapt for the principal’s door, hoping to use it to shield him from the obviously mad secretary. Had everyone gone mad?

To be continued…