OK, so there was this boy. He was like nine or ten years old, somewhere around there, so he was probably in third or fourth grade. One day in class, his teacher assigned some homework to the class about vocabulary. The assignment was to go home and look up a new word in the dictionary, learn it, and then return the next day and tell the word to the class. So the boy went home after school that day and dug out the family dictionary. He let it fall open then pointed at random to one of the words on the right-hand page. The word under his finger was “pumpernickel.” He said it over and over and over again until he was sure he could say it and remember it for the next day at school, then he went to bed, still saying “pumpernickel” in his head.

The next day at school after the lesson on long division, the teacher asked the class for their new words. Going up and down the rows, students gave words like “geologist” and “savory” and “derisive.” The boy kept saying his word “pumpernickel” in his head over and over, barely paying attention to the other students because he didn’t want to forget his word. Finally, after a girl in pigtails gave her word “placenta,” the boy got to give his word.

“Pumpernickel!” he said proudly when the teacher called his name. Upon hearing his word, the teacher hit him upside the head with a ruler and shouted, “Go to the principal’s office now!” Terrified, the boy scrambled out of his seat and darted for the door, slamming it closed behind him to dampen the sound of the teacher’s shouting at him. Dutifully, the confused boy began walking down the long hallway to the principal’s office. What in the world was going on?

To be continued…