Not playing an MMO has afforded me quite a bit of free time. Oddly, I find I’ve spent much of it playing at sudoku and watching Star Trek: The Next Generation. However, not all of my new-found free time has been spent idling away doing unproductive stuff. I have managed to get quite a bit of my DnD campaign back up and running as well as having done some actual work-related activities. What I am more please with about having this time off is that it has given me a chance to revisit my novels.

I recently came across many folders and notes which I had thought simply lost only to discover they were mixed in with unlikely files and notebooks. In this treasure trove of ccreative works I found quite a number of passages I had written long ago for the Solennelle & O novels I started back when I was in France. The passages themselves were of utmost importance because they concern an incredibly sensitive topic which I didn’t want to attempt to rewrite. In the back of my mind, I had always hoped to regain these pages but the larger part of my logic (such as it is) told me that it would probably be best to simply rewrite what I could from memory and forget the other passages existed at all. The back of my mind won out over logic (as per usual) and so I didn’t rewrite the touchy topics and now I’m glad I didn’t. I find I don’t like to completely rewrite entire passages or parts of the novel once I have already written one version. I almost always prefer the original to the new, and in this case, I was certain to find the original far superior to anything I could have created since.

There are very valid reasons as to why certain passages or chapters of the Solennelle & O novels must remain true to the original. You see, when I started writing the novels, I was in France. I was isolated, and in true Erin fashion, rather than try to connect to those around me, I connected instead to a completely made-up fantasy world in which I could imagine people as vividly and as real as the actual humans around me. In fact, the people in my world were more real to me because each of them reflected a particular aspect of myself. The protagonist is myself as I was not even a decade ago: scared, uncertain of herself, depressed, moody, and generally about as emotionally handicapped as one could get. Her mentor began taking on the aspects of Ian which I missed the most–he even snores–so that I could have my then-fiancé close to me. The antagonists were also me: everything about myself that acted as hurdles for getting beyond my past and insecurities. Everyone in my world was a part of myself as I was then in France–and the tenor and perspective of the writing reflects that.

It has been five years since I started my novels, and while I am fully aware that there will never be the possibility of finishing them in the same mood and circumstances as I started them (After all, I am no longer so chronically depressed–I think.), I still wish to retain as much of the original spirit as possible. That is why finding and preserving the originals is so important to me. I may edit them and change some of the wording, even an entire paragraph or two, but the majority of the work will remain intact, remain in the correct tone as the standard set at the beginning of the project.

I have just finished typing up a fairly lengthy passage from the notes I have recently rediscovered. I don’t think I’ll put them up here on the webpage any time soon, however. The excerpt is from early in book three and the subject matter of this chapter is highly charged with emotions needing a context which cannot be provided for as a stand-alone piece without the rest of books one and two preceding it. I’m just thrilled to have come across the words of my old friends again, to hear the echoes of my former self there as a reminder of how far I’ve come. I look forward to typing up some more of my notes. This seems like a good week to work on being creative. I hope it holds out.