This could just be me, and knowing my own particular brand of insanity, I’m leaning towards some of this is just me whereas normal people have watered-down varieties of this, but sometimes I just have these spontaneous urges to do random shit. Like I was reading through blogs and my eye caught the nail polish on my desk and I suddenly imagined picking up the bottle, opening it, and painting my tongue. Some urges are more destructive like the sudden urge to let go of the steering wheel and let the van careen into whatever solid object is nearest at hand, but not all of them are like that. Many–if not most–of them are just quick ideas to do dumb things like painting spiral designs on the keys of my laptop or trying to stack up Easter egg plastic shell halves or filling a jar with water and glue and just shaking it for twenty minutes to watch it dissolve and make murky. You know, stuff. I suppose a lot of people act on menial urges like this often, like when doodling randomly in the margins of a book or flicking eraser shavings off a desk at someone. There’s no real reason for it, and there’s no thought behind it at all, but it’s just something people do. I don’t tend to act on the majority of these urges because, well, a lot of them are destructive or downright insane, and if there’s one thing I don’t want, it’s to be locked up for being a nutjob. I figure if I can keep my crayons off the walls, my hand out of garbage disposals, and my toes away from Kitty’s litter, I’m at least partially controlling myself. I can’t stop the thoughts, but I can manage to keep myself from acting on them. After all, I didn’t just paint my tongue with green polish and I have yet to run into lampposts and trees while driving due to a lack of hands on the wheel. Damned crazy urges. If I didn’t already feel mental, these bizarre compulsions to cover my arms in marker art or to skip in the hallways make me feel even more crazy. Stupid brain.