Okay, so it’s not so much magical as logical, but I do have at least one silly ability that I find most fascinating. I can put people to sleep! This revelation isn’t anything new to me. I discovered this a while back when my cousins from Vermont were down back in junior high school. We’d stay up incredibly late, and eventually everyone would be immensely exhausted but incapable of sleep. That’s when I’d just start telling stories or talking in a stream of consciousness in a monotone drone and soon everyone would be out!

Last night, Ian came to bed a few minutes after I had. I had a headache (All the snow I discovered outside goes a long way to explain that, and it’s now snowing quite harder!) and just wanted to conk out, but Ian was still somewhat awake though he knew he needed to sleep. I suggested that I tell him a story. I started with a story about work and this girl who came in beligerently demanding her advisement PIN without going through the standard procedure, and from there I just let my words wander like a fart in the wind without putting any thought into them at all. Some of you might say that I don’t put much thought into what I say normally, but that’s entirely untrue. There’s thought there; there just isn’t any tact or inhibition. Huge difference.

And so I rambled. I went from one subject to the next like the neural networks tangled and woven into a fine mesh of nonsense and chaos. Fluidly and without missing a beat, I droned about subjects varying from tea to sweaters to calendars to telephones. Were my fine oration to have been tape-recorded, it would have been grounds for calling the men in white coats, but lo, the tape recorder was off and in the alcove. No strait-jackets for me! Wait, I digress. Then again, that’s the brunt of what I was doing last night. I could tell that the husband was listening for about the first five minutes, and soon I heard the steady breathing which indicates snores are soon to come. And come they did like the torrential stream of blatherings I continued to spout since, once in one of these rivers of free-flowing thoughts, it’s difficult if not nigh impossible to cease unless I fall unconscious likewise. Finally, I ended on a note about gingerbread, and let myself fall to sleep. What a grand time!

So I have the ability not only to drive one insane with my words, but to knock them out completely! How exhilarating! I’m sure that’s not what Ian was thinking late last night as my monotone voice droned on in the dark, but it got the job done. Maybe next time I’ll record it so there’s a record of just how random my thoughts can be, and how boring! Wait, isn’t that what this blog is?