The husband and I talk about a lot of random things, and one thing we like to talk about a lot is politics. We were talking about how the current tea partiers are vastly different from those who originally started the idea forever ago. The tea partiers today are like people who say things like “our team lost so now I’m gonna root for this guy.” It got us talking about sports fanatics who do shit like that. It’s so common for people in general to root for one team that’s popular or winning a lot but then the next season they all jump on the bandwagon of another team who’s winning more.

This got me talking about Mom watching some sports thing last night. Needless to say, it wasn’t what was said that was so funny but how it was said. Ian and I both agreed that the conversation was hilarious, and anyone listening would have thought me an idiot. At any rate, here’s more or less how it went in summary:

Me: So Mom was watching this football game last night… No, not football. What’s that other sport?

Ian: There are lots of sports out there.

Me: You know, the one with the stick.

Ian: You mean hockey, baseball, lacrosse, cricket, jai alai…

Me: Baseball! That one. So Mom was watching baseball, and uh, oh, I don’t remember what the teams were–

Ian: Imagine that.

Me: Well, one of them was red, and the other one was wearing something like grey, I think. I don’t remember; I wasn’t really paying attention. I think it was the Philadelphia Flyers, but that might be hockey, so that can’t be right.

Ian: OK.

Me: So there was the red team that I’m gonna call “red–”

Ian: You mean the Reds?

Me: Huh? Oh, yeah, probably. Anyway, there was the red team and the other team that I’m gonna call the greys, and Mom was mumbling at them like she always does when she watches sports, and I guess she normally votes for the red team–

Ian: You mean “roots?”

Me: What? Oh, I guess so. Yeah, you don’t vote on teams. Dammit, I don’t know what it’s called. I guess that does sound pretty stupid though, doesn’t it? Can you imagine if anyone heard this conversation what they’d think? They’d think I’m a moron.

Ian: Indeed.

Me: At any rate! I guess Mom normally votes–roots for the red team ’cause Dad asked something about whether the red team was doing badly or something and Mom said she was vot–rooting for the grey team instead. I think it’s just ’cause they had two points more or something. I don’t know. It just reminds me of how people switch teams whenever one team is doing better than the other one they normally root for.

Ian: You know, I love conversations like this because even though you’re scholastically more intelligent than me, at times like this, you’re an idiot.

Me: Yeah, yeah, whatever.

Needless to say, the actual conversation was much funnier, but this gets the point across. If there’s one thing I don’t care if I ever learn about, it’s sports. In fact, if more people spent as much time researching politics and the issues and politicians as they waste watching professional sports, this country would probably be in a much better state. Oh well, that’s just my humble opinion. It’s my blog, of course it’s my opinion. It’s also my opinion that lettuce is awesome.

Addendum: Incredibly funny addition to this mess is that I since looked up the Philadelphia team to try and figure out who they were (and the other team was Cincinnati, apparently) and there was a clip of the game from last night playing (something about balls being fumbled [and I seriously nearly just wrote “fondled” but didn’t, ahahaha–wait, never mind; I did just write that] and some bad plays that I recognized from Mom pointing them out). I guess that the grey team I was thinking of was actually the Reds and the red team I was looking at was actually the Flyers. The red team was the grey team. Man, how confusing is that! Oh well, like I said, I wasn’t paying attention and really don’t care. Amusing still, however.

Second addendum: Um, so I guess the Flyers aren’t baseball. I forgot that again until I was reading the first addendum to Ian and it sounded like something I’d said before. Regardless, it’s some team from Philadelphia, and I’m surprised I got that much correct.